12:25 p.m. - 2009-09-15
Betty Belongs
It's been so long since I've updated I hardly know where to begin. I just registered for Weetacon 2010 so I made a goal to start writing again, maybe clear some clutter from my brain. Every now and then I go back and read some of my entries and I think they aren't half bad. Sometimes they're entertaining and most definitely a purgative for the tortured-soul part of me.
It has been an amazing year, for the most part. Big T (formerly known as EdBigHead. I decided a while ago that I'm tired of hiding behind a false name. The only people who might be reading this know me and why would anyone else care?) lost his job but found another one in the tiny Appalachian town of Paintsville, KY. He moved and I stayed. No trouble in paradise, I just couldn't make our youngest child leave everything she's ever known to begin again in such a god forsaken place. She was a junior in high school at the time and I agreed to stay put until she completes her fresman fall semester in college. So anyway, I cried for several months then decided I was tired of being lonely and put myself out there and invited a couple of acquaintences out to dinner. Now, it may sound like "So what?" to you but for me this was tantamount to asking a crush out on a date. I've never really had friends because I always had Big T and my daughters that kept me busy and there was no time for friends. Was that ever a mistake.
My (now) friends and I had a wonderful time. We laughed and talked and discovered we had lots in common. I didn't get home until after 11:00pm on a school night, no less. It felt good to make friends, to find someone to talk with, someone to laugh with, someone who understood when I said I was tired of being alone. Since that night I've also gone with other friends to some Buddhist gatherings, done some volunteering and spent a fabulous rock star weekend in Las Vegas. Oiy, that's an entry all by itself.
The question for me is why did I wait so long to figure out that life is much better with friends? I guess I should go back to my high school freshman theology class and Sr. Mary Jane's wisdom when she told us "At every moment you have exactly what you need." I needed those months of loneliness to realize my self worth and the goods parts of my personality that others would find worth investing their friendship in.
I'm feeling pretty good right now, excited that I've actually got some numbers saved in my phone book. Tomorrow I'll tell you about the epiphany with my brothers. It's a real tear-jerker, stay tuned.
