8:50 a.m. - 2007-08-09
Betty has control issues
The detox continues into week two and only one pound lost in the second round. What is it about the human body that no matter how little food goes in and how many calories are burned it has some sort of a set point for weight? Let me say it loud and clear that I am very happy where I am, body-wise. It's been two and a half years of hard work and it has paid off. For some insane reason I keep pushing myself to lose another 10 or 15 and why? I guess because my doctor told me that 170-175 would be my ideal weight. According to on-line BMI and weight charts I am still over weight at 191 and 6 feet tall. I wish I could do that thing where you are submerged under water and your body fat can be calculated. I don't think have a lot of body fat, if I could do the test I would know for sure. The thing about the charts is they don't take into account how much muscle mass you have. Gah, I need to let it go. Concentrate on being happy with what I have and not worry about the last few pounds that will not budge.
Somehow the whole thing is more of a control issue rather than a weight thing. I feel like if I can be disciplined enough to deny myself food, I have some control over my life. Does that sound crazy? Exercise has become that way as well. 90 minutes a day, every day, strength training and aerobics in the morning and leg strength in the evening. I feel really guilty if I skip a session. I'm beginning to sound like a basket case now. For most of my life I've had very little control over what happened. It's not that I didn't have choices, I just always felt like it was my duty to defer to everyone else in the world instead of standing up and saying what I wanted. Many times it was easier to let someone else make decisions instead of taking a risk of making my own. Funny thing is as the polliwogs came along I made sure that they could speak their minds. I've taught them to not be afraid to walk to their own beat and voice their opinions. Now that I've taken a few solo steps I've found that speaking my mind can be a little scary. Exhilarating but scary.
Ed and I have been riding our bicycles this week; 10 miles on Monday then 16 miles in 95 degree heat last night. Hopefully we can put in another 15 or so tonight then there are 2, 25-30 mile rides this weekend. Ed is getting used to the spandex pants and I sort of enjoy watching him from behind. He's got nice legs.
We are half way to our goal for the American Lung Association fund raiser ride in September. A huge thank you to everyone who has donated so far and here is a link to their diaries:
Then, last, but not least, my fund-raising page to any who would like to help the cause of fightling lung disease by donatnig to The American Lung Association. Ed and I will be bicycling 125 miles across the Kentucky Bluegrass Region on September 15th for the cause. Of course, it's just a huge bonus that we get to eat dinner and spend the night in historic Shakertown.
Shakertown See ya!
